Why Can’t I Breathe Whenever I Think About You?

la la la.
this ones gunna be long.

best day ever.
i’m not gunna lie.
this day was worth a hundred -ism’s.

1) i had a D- in Honors Geometry. which isn’t a good thing, i know this. as a matter of fact i’m almost completly ashamed of it, but in a sense i’m not really. BUT yesterday… i brought it up 14 points. and as of 4:30 yesterday it was a C. BUT THE BEST PART, is that i took one hell of a test today, and probably earned myself somewhere along the lines of a possible 21 FREAKIN’ POINTS!

I MIGHT HAVE AN A IN HONORS GEOMETRY!

2) i have a freakin’ amazing boyfriend. i’m not gunna lie, that boy helps me with my life so much. he really does.

best part is; i told him my worst mistake.
best part of that is; he thanked me.

me – “You wouldn’t judge me if I told you my worst mistake would you?”
him – “Well… People make mistakes, people deserve second chances… And judgements should be left up to God.”
me – “-Insert Bad Mistake Here-”
him – “Ah. Thank You.”

amazing thing number one million about this boy; he doesn’t kiss me all the time.

yeah, he walks me home with his arm around me. he flirts with me, tickles me all the time. yeah, sometimes he’ll kiss my cheek before class. mhmm, he always holds me in his arms. sometimes he’ll do something really cute and squeeze my hand, or run his fingers softly on my cheek.

but he’s not into me because i’m an amazing piece of ass. and i love it.

amazing thing number one million and one; he calls me all the time.

not like asks to call me, he calls me with the chance that i might pick up or that i might not. and if i don’t pick up or my phone is on silent he leaves a message everytime. we can spend about… 3 hours on the phone without any silences, just talking about whatever.

yeah, he’s pretty awesome.

3) i’m a pretty damned good person. you wish you were me. i gave this girl i held a sincerely terrible grudge against my cell number, and told her to call me.

(one more thing about the amazing boy; i told him what i did with the girl, and how i just felt like i should even though it probably wasn’t the best thing for me… and he goes: “Yeah, but most of the time the right thing to do isn’t.”)

see; i can make pretty good choices

4) i am manager of the wrestling team, class prez, in french club, in marching/pep band, and i’ve got all A’s and a C. and yeah, i said i was manager of the wrestling team. cause i’m cool like that and Coach Hughes is pretty awesome.

i have so far managed to prove that i can handle one hell of a lot, along with almost having a job, and i might be playing indoor soccer.

you, my dear reader, have no idea how proud i am of myself.

5) i’ve got some pretty awesome friends. i’m very very very lucky for;

Katie (My Amazing All-Class Sharer And SBP Partner), Taylor (My Sister/Wife/SoulMate Whom I FINALLY Get To See), Jon (My Brother And Awesome Best Friend), Phil (Yeah, He’s Phil. What’s Not To Love?), Nick (You Remember That Amazing Boy I Told You About? Yeah, This Is Him), Collin (The FluffMaster 3000, He’s Amazing), Ogre (My Racial Slur), Laura (My Little Somthin’ On The Side), Jack (My Real Life Brother I’ve Known For A Thousand Years), JWag (My Super Amazing SBP Rival, Work Out Buddy, And Wife), B-Dub (My Crazy Ass White Buddy Who Drinks Far Too Much), Doodie (My Illigal Love Affair), Emily (My Rainbow Bright), Gina (My Amazing Best Friend For Life), Kelly Juanita (The Queen Of The Universe For Everyday Except February The 7th), Samantha Lauren (My Real Life Sister For Life And Chem Partner), Marley (Because I Stole Her Hair And Made It My Own), and The Kelsey (Because She Helped Me Be A Better Person)

ok now i’m done.

 

From Francais to Fraternizing

hmm…
life is not as pleasent.

i think my last post was sometime in august? much has happened since then.

for one, i started school. which is fantastic, so far i haven’t had a better school year yet. journalism and francais trois sont ma favorite and yadda yadda. and math class, but that goes without saying.

best part so far? i’m getting good grades, and i’ve managed not to fall too far behind, which i have a bad habit of doing… eh heh.

it’s too bad i’m distracted.
stupid boy.

the one post i had about stupid boys throwing me off? yeah, thats not so much in effect anymore. but i was right there was an IM conversation about how that was bullshit. but everything is sorted out now, and we’re all good.

but, if you’ve seen me over the past three days, you’ll notice that i am always with a headache, and i zone out a lot.
even the teachers are noticing, which is kind of odd, i don’t normally get this depressed. but here’s whats goin’ on.

i am deciding that i do not wish to live with my father anymore.

there, i said it.
too bad my mum’s in Seattle. all of this is going to start up, and if i’m lucky, my mom will get full custody of me, and i’ll still be able to go to my school. but seeing that i have no choice to put up with being a ‘selfish and rude’ person for the rest of the week, i’m getting headaches and i’m constantly tired.

but tommorow is my break, i’m excited

whats worse, i have a broken iPod.
let me tell you the ONE thing you need to know about me to understand this blog.

nothing in my life happens without music.

the boy calls me a music whore.
which is more then true.
i am a music whore.

so with a not-so-pleasent father, stressful classes, softball, and stucco on my back my lack of music is going to kill me. we’ll see how i survive.

ah, i just realized this is going to be a really long post.
i have, yet, more to tell you.

((for julia))
we’re learning how to march in band! oh my God, i’m going to sound like such a nerd, but thats ok!! it’s exciting!!
band-geek moment over.

OH, homecoming is … next week? yes. which is rather frightful, too many boys like me right now, and i only like one. who isn’t gunna be there. and i swear to God i’m oging to be molested, raped, kissed, or all of the above.

which is not a good thing.
very bad thing.
sorry for the long post.

 

Bowling, Boys, and Beethoven.

La La La.

life is amazing, some days. even when you can’t walk due to sore legs and it’s storming outside, which leaves you stranded in a highschool building with your best friend. it some how manages to make you smile when you think about it…

… every second of they day.

oh. other good news.
school starts soon, and i’ve finally gotten my classes;

all honors.

this year is going to be a little stressful. but i look forward to it. i grew up a lot over the summer i think. it’s really cheesed to think about stuff like this… but i honestly think i grew up. i found a lot of selfconfidence, and formed a few opinions on things.

F I N A L L Y.

it’s nice to feel confident that you know something for once.

and i’m lovin’ my family. my AMAZING cousin Emma has just gotten married to her perfect match, who is now my cousin. and i’m telling you now, my family is crazy awesome. the rehersal dinner was at a bowling alley. we’re pretty cool.

i miss my cousins though. all the older ones are off at MSU and down in Georgia. (Julia if you ever read this, you still owe me a date at the botanical gardens!) Someday i’ll join them though, i’m excited.

oh.
other things.
i’m going to try and teach myself Beethoven’s symphony… in a week.

think i can do it?
i’ll keep you posted on my progress.

 

Found; Missing Saratonin.

i’m sorry.

my last post was way out of line.
i didn’t mean much of it.
i get messed up over nothing sometimes.

i’ll just blame the hormones.

 

I Want To Love You Madly.

stupid fucking boys.
why in the hell do i waste my time with these stupid miscreatents?!

.one minute they love you.
.one minute they love you as a friend.
.one minute they LIKE making you smile.
.one minute they’re there for you.
.one minute they leave you without saying goodbye.
.one minute they make you blush and say, “awwh.”
.one minute they just like to make you blush to annoy you.
.one minute they’re sad for missing a slurpee date.
.one minute you ask to go on another one and they won’t go.
.one minute they tell you you’ll be the first on they’re list once you’re older.
.one minute they tell you they don’t think they’re attatched to you.

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

next thing you know, they’re on they’re way to work. telling you they just like annoying you, they’re not attatched to you, and then they do something to make you blush.

just to make this a bit more clear;
:: you smile when you see his screen name
:: you drink coke because of him
:: you think about him all the time
:: you listen to new good music because of him
:: you talk to him all the time
:: when he tells you he loves you, you’re day gets better
:: you’re not afraid to do things because of him
:: you worry about him when he cuts his thumb open and gets stitches.
:: you call him Stitch to tease him
:: he calls you DaniPie
:: he smiles really cheesy everyonce and a while because of you

:: you know that when he reads this, he’ll IM you, and tell you that it’s all some stupid misunderstanding. and that he didn’t mean he loved you like that. that he probably wouldn’t date you even when you are old enough. and then you’ll never talk to him much after that, cause he fucking led you on.

and you’ll end up dating jon myers.

:: right about now you’re wondering why you’re fucking talking to this stupid, jackass. because everyone of them has hurt you in some way, even if this particular one has stood through with you, telling you to call him if you feel the need to cry. but you won’t call him now, even though he is your best friend, and you’re crying thinking that this is all a bunch of bullshit.

:: you’re bestfriend taylor tells you he’s just in it to get some.

:: you’re other bestfriend sam has convinced you that he really does love you.

you have no idea whats goin’ on in you’re head after thinking about all of this. but you’re believing samantha. cause she made more sense.

not to mention… you want to.